An Open Letter to Ebay

Dear Ebay,

I was supposed to become a millionaire this weekend.

Remember me? I am the one with the two pairs of “new with tags” jeans. I left them with you yesterday.

It was supposed to be a cathartic experience. The 7s have been silently mocking me from my closet when I realized all super extra clearance Dojo cuts are not created equal. The Lucky Brands kept making snide remarks about my posterior when I put them on. You may call it “listing” but I would like to think it was an emotional release. I was standing up for my feminist spirit. These jeans will not own me! I will no longer be a slave to sizes and price tags and flat butts!

As of today, only one person has viewed each pair of pants. That one person was me.

Now, my jeans are mocking me for more reasons than their awful fit. You did this to me, ebay! You–with your easy to use iPad app and empty promises of grandeur.

I loathe you, ebay!


PS– this has nothing to do with my buyers account. I am still all over the iPhone case and the necklace. Love ya!